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Real Estate Card A client bought a new home and the broker wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the home and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace". The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, I`m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new home."

Bragging about Numbers IN A crowded elevator, one man asked another, "How`s business?" "Last year we sold 500,000 houses, 700,000 farms and 750,000 schools," came the reply. "This year we ought to do equally well and, in addition, sell 1,200,000 garages." As the elevator descended, there was heavy silence for a moment. Then someone spoke up indignantly. "Sir," he said, "I`m in real estate, and those figures are preposterous!" He didn`t know that the man boasting about his business was the marketing director of a major toy company.

I`m not a Quitter A guy walks into the real estate office and hands the broker his application. The broker begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every real estate office he has ever worked for. "I must say," says the executive, "your work history is terrible. You`ve been fired from every real estate office." "Yes," says the man. "Well," continues the broker, "there`s not much positive in that." "Hey!" says the guy as he pokes the application. "At least I`m not a quitter."